And, no, I had nothing to do with this.  I found a reference to it on the AV Club.

Personally, I try to support our troops by not getting them killed doing stupid shit, like in Iraq.  I also support the proper funding of them, so they have the proper equipment not to get killed doing stupid shit,  like in Iraq.  Weird that the Bush Administration painted anyone who disagreed with military action as unpatriotic, but then couldn’t be bothered to get the proper equipment (like body armor) to reduce casualties of military action.  Apparently, it’s patriotic to send in the troops only if you’re getting them killed.

There’s another thing I find weird.  The same people who refused to get us out of a pointless occupation of Iraq are now the most vocal about getting us out of a necessary action in Afghanistan.  Apparently, it’s patriotic to send in the troops only if you’re getting them killed in a pointless cause.

Oh well.  This is the United States of America, and we don’t generally understand a goddamned thing unless it’s got proper marketing telling us what we’re supposed to think about it.

Memorial Day:  when we remember all of the brave Americans who died in “Saving Private Ryan”.

And, of course, one of my favorite arguments for being an atheist.  It goes something like this:

If the Bible is the ineffable, inerrant word of God, then it can contain no mistakes.  So when did the crucifixion take place?

John 19:14 states that it was the day before the Passover meal was eaten.

Mark 14:12 and 15:25 state that it was the day after the Passover mean was eaten.

A small distinction, perhaps, but it cuts to the heart of the ineffability and inerrancy of the Bible as THE WORD OF GOD.

The Crucifixion is the central event to establish that Jesus redeemed mankind through His sacrifice . . . yet the major sources specifically contradict each other.  Wasn’t anyone actually paying attention while it was going on?!?  If we don’t know when that happened, then we can’t know when the Resurrection happened.  This defining moment of Christianity is celebrated every year, yet it’s the clearest illustration that  the most holy text of Christianity, handed down by God himself . . is just a bunch of stories by a bunch of guys writing stuff separately, which someone later edited together into one volume.

Thanks a lot, God.  Like we’re not already confused enough.

Day 148 talks about food, our then-new cats, and The Boondocks comic strip (which later became crappy, but I liked it then).

Day 151 deals with Lafayette, homophobia, and the bizarre stupidity of opposing sex education while being surprised at high teen STD rates.

And, lastly, Day 155 talks about the NPR station in Baton Rouge and, of course, the adorability of our pets. Enjoy!

Tom Tancredo:  the appeal of the KKK without that pesky laundry bill.

But what of the animals?  Does nobody think of the animals?!?

Well, apparently someone did.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA is there to take care of your beloved animal companions when the Rapture arrives and you are rescued/saved/airlifted to salvation.  For a fee of $110, you can rest assured that if the Rapture takes place within the next ten years, a duly-authorized EEBP representative will arrive within approximately 24 to rescue, adopt, and care for your chosen pet.  Each additional pet per residence is $15.

The best part is that each duly-authorized EEBP representative is not merely an animal lover but a certified atheist.  It’s clearly spelled out in their FAQ, as excerpted below:

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won’t be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don’t ensure it, they do.  Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

Sadly,  the service can only accommodate dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals in most service areas, but you can save your horses, camels, llamas, and donkeys in NH, VT, ID, and MT. (Reptiles aren’t covered, probably because anyone who owns a bearded dragon is going to hell anyway.)

No kidding.  I’m not making this shit up.  Well, except for reptile owners going to hell, but I’m probably pretty safe on that one.

Their slogan:  “The next best thing to pet salvation in a post-Rapture world.”

Amen to that.

Tiger Woods:  because it’s a shocking revelation that a billionaire athlete would love pussy.

Sarah Palin:  saving America as the voice of despair, stagnation.

In the way old days (or, to put it another way, back when I was young),  it was called a Hula Hoop, a term trademarked by the good people at Wham-O! toys.  These days, it’s mostly just called a ‘hoop’ and the spasmodic torso gyrations intended to keep it aloft is called ‘hooping’.  Or so the kids tell me these days.

Bah!  In my day, we didn’t have these fancy circle things.  We had rocks.  And we were thankful!

Why would I do this?  My wife has taken up hooping these days.  I tried to be supportive yet uninvolved, my usual strategy whenever she picks up a new hobby.  Nevertheless, she managed to snare me.  “Of course, it’s better to make your own hoop, so you can customize the size,” she tells me, then gets me to help her make hoops for each of us.  Because, of course, I need one too.  For those of you interested, she discusses the process in depth here.  Please note that the PVC material we used is not typical.  We used it simply because the usually recommended materials were not readily available in our area.

Much to my chagrin, I’m amused at making the damn things, and find it amusing as well that I’m somewhat able to keep it aloft.  This is a far cry from my childhood, when a hula hoop demonstrated gravity far more effectively than centripetal force.

Then comes the decorating.  Her hoop winds up being purple with reflective fish stickers and lots of purple ‘bubbles’; the very picture of whimsy.  My hoop is black.  I add four thin bands of red.  Yep, I’m done.  I decide to use “elegant simplicity” as a code word for “lazy”.  Fortunately, none of this mattered at the workshop.

I actually enjoyed it.  Yes, I’m shocked and appalled as well.  It was not a den of hippies, as I’d feared, nor was I the only male there, as I’d hoped.  Lara was a fun and friendly teacher, and I learned quite a bit more than I expected.  I also got more of a work-out than I expected, and the chill factor proved to be a boon once we’d gotten warmed up.  The Saturday workshop had an afternoon and an evening session, the latter featuring a variety of LED hoops that SuperHooper makes.  It was, as the kids say, wicked cool.

I think I made a generally positive impression, given that I was a gray-hair who was having fun with this and not self-conscious about it.  Amy, of course, made a great impression as she always does.

Of course, there was also a Sunday session that we couldn’t make.  Oh, well, maybe next time.  As it was, I was sore for three days afterward.  Damn exercise.